In Lagos, women kick against condoms

… As group preaches sex abstinence on Valentine’s Day

By SAM OTTIA non-governmental organisation, Tehilla Women and Youth Empowerment Foundation (TWYEF), hit the crowded streets of Lagos on Valentine’s Day, preaching the message of sex abstinence and chastity.

The programme came at a time statistics reveals that 53 per cent of Nigerian youth had their sexual initiation before the age of 20. Also, the norms, governing sexual practices among Nigerian adolescents have changed, such that early initiation to sexual activity is most often hailed as an act of maturity and heroism by the younger generation.

Teenage obsession with sex could be seen in various research projects in the country, which further revealed that 70 per cent of females with primary education had experienced sex before the age of 15.

In a programme, tagged: Walk for Love, Tehilla Foundation, founded by Stephany Nwanmah, had many married women, young ladies and men march through the streets, condemning the sexual decadence in the land. The public enlightenment campaign, which took off from the National Stadium, Surulere, to Bode Thomas Street, Lagos,  and its neighbourhood, broke the customary code of silence imposed on sex matters. With two police patrol vehicles, controlling the morning traffic, the women commenced the programme, anchored on the theme, One Love: Let’s walk together and feel alright.

Looking at the sex life of young people in Lagos, preaching sex abstinence seemed like a lone voice in the wilderness. Judging by the fact that most youths no longer believe in marriage before sex, taming the urge to eat the forbidden fruit seems like asking a monkey to stop climbing trees. This is particularly difficult because several young people now see sex abstinence and chastity, as the tradition of religious monks and nuns that do not fit into the social life of the present age.

Valentine’s Day, celebrated on February 14, was a day of wine and sex for youths in many cities. February 14, which has totally lost its original meaning, became a day set aside for undiluted lewdness and unbridled debauchery, even as idle lechers prowled the streets for willing prey. One could hardly walk down the streets without beholding a tempting offer. Various banners on the roadsides and busy bus-stops announced raunchy programmes. Some hotels advertised free gate-pass in an attempt to lure large female guests to rock and roll with randy male customers.

Our reporter, who visited some busy fun-spots in Lagos, noted several ladies and men dressed in red, mooching about the busy streets, craning their eyes in every direction for prospective admirers. Various high-brow restaurants teemed with young customers. Their feast of lust extended deep in the night, as the walls of resistance of several teenage girls caved in to amorous advances.

In the face of this sex revolution, members of Tehilla Foundation said they would not allow the situation to continue. They woke the sleepy neighbourhood with their songs of chastity, telling the people to “zip-up, zip-up, zip up!”

With various banners like: Sex is honourable only in marriage, Sex is not a criteria for love, Sex is not love, among others, they took the message of purity in courtship and total abstinence from sex  to the streets of Surulere.

Nwanmah, who is also the UNESCO Centre Coordinator for Lagos Region, said the increasing sexual crimes of young people and its attendant ills would not abate unless concerned citizens take up the challenge of educating teenagers on the need for sex abstinence. She lamented that health campaigns promoting the use of condom or having one sexual partner have continued to influence the younger generation negatively. According to her, under-aged children have been initiated into sexual activity by such preachments that offer them an excusable reason for sexual expression.

Nwanmah expressed regrets that countless children are being sexually abused, including young girls having induced abortions on regular basis. She expressed concern that new cases of sexually transmitted diseases among teens are reported each year, a situation she said endangers the family health and lifespan of the society. According to her, early sexual initiation and high risk adolescent sexual activity have contributed immensely to the escalating rates of HIV infection in the country.

She said the Tehilla Foundation, founded in 2009, strongly condemns the campaign for the use of condom among youths, but encourages them to imbibe the waiting attitude, that is total abstinence from sex before marriage to guide them to a noble path in life.

One of the participants, Mrs Chinyere Anokwuru, Senior Special Assistant to the Governor of Lagos on Women, Ethnic Group and Mobilisation and founder, Selfworth Organisation for Women Development, further stressed the need for sex abstinence to the youths.

“The message of abstinence is what we should be preaching now. Initially, it was sex education, teaching them to be faithful and the use of condom. Why are we teaching these kids to use condom? Condoms have failed so many times and disappointed users at so many occasions. We need to let them know that they cannot go to school with books in their bags and condoms in their pockets. With condoms in their pockets, how can they really concentrate in their studies?”

Anokwuru told our reporter that the young ones must be properly guided on the path of moral probity to bring out the best in them. According to her, feasting their minds on pre-marital sex could distract them from their goals and consequently jeopardize their future.

“We are telling them to abstain for just a few years before they get married. It is not too much to ask this from our youths. They need few years of focus, intense studies to achieve their dreams, so that at the end, they would reap the fruits. When they get married, they can have many years of sex and fun as they want,” she said.

She also admitted the challenges to high moral standard in the society, identifying peer influence, media exposure and the borderless world of the Internet as factors. She further urged the young ones not to yield to these transient pressures.

“There are temptations everywhere, on the television, on the internet, even in the music they listen to. Everyone should begin to talk. Mothers should stand their grounds at home and talk to their children. In the school, teachers should talk. In our churches and mosques, the religious leaders should talk. The spirit of Valentine is a wonderful one. But our youths have misconstrued this idea that love has to do with sex. They believe that love is synonymous with sex. This foundation wants to correct this erroneous impression,” she added.

Sodiq Adewale, 23, joyfully participated in the chastity walk, but he confessed to the reporter that sex abstinence seemed like a heavy cross to bear.

“I am trying to practise it, but I cannot tell you that I am doing it 100 per cent. I have to be honest. I will continue to try,” he said. He also admitted that he relishes pornographic movies regularly, but added that such materials do not excite his sexual feelings or dictate his sexual behaviour. He urged the government to enforce strict regulation that would keep pornographic materials away from the reach of under-aged children, as exposure to such materials, often sold on the roadside, could lure them to early sex.

For Mrs Mercy Adanogu, abstaining from sex before marriage is a holy virtue that should be encouraged by everyone in the society. She told our reporter that those who feel abstinence is impracticable are not honest to themselves.

“We are in a world where you can express love to the woman you love and that relationship can still be strong without sex. Tehilla Foundation is about adding value, promoting self-worth of women and encouraging hard work. We encourage women never to use their body as a ladder to wealth or success in life. You can get to the top without defiling your body. You can maintain a good relationship without necessarily having sex,” she said.